Eps 44 - Your Power: In a POA and in your Mission with Cathy Sikorski

Erin Austin: Hello ladies. Welcome to the Hourly to Exit podcast. I'm very

Cathy Sikorski: excited for our episode today. I have Kathy Sikorski,

Erin Austin: with us to talk about some thing that will be of interest to. All of us, which is, very directly related to the key value here at a exit, which is getting more wealth in the hands of women because we think that will change the world.

Erin Austin: And so before I introduce Kathy, I'm gonna rattle off a few statistics about. Why it's so important to get more wealth in the hands of women. So I was reading a recent Forbes article that said that women tend to invest more than 90% of their assets in earnings back into their families for nutrition, education, healthcare, and more.

Erin Austin: In contrast, men only invest about 44% of their incomes back into their families. Women build wealth to support a broader set of goals for their family, for philanthropy, and for the world. the stats I have on my website, women give twice as much of their wealth to charitable causes than men.

Erin Austin: They're almost twice as likely to say that the act of donating is the most satisfying part of having wealth. their financial wellbeing is influenced by their sense of responsibility for others, for their families, for the community, and for society. and that women are nearly twice as likely as men to say that they've discussed philanthropy with their children, which I think is a great stat so that we're raising a generation of charitable givers.

Erin Austin: And so of course women aren't just generous with their money. They're also generous with their time. And so we are gonna talk about that, our role as caregivers and sometimes, perhaps at our own expense. So with that, Kathy, please introduce yourself to the

Cathy Sikorski: audience. Hi everyone. I'm so happy to be here, for so many reasons.

Cathy Sikorski: To be invited into this room to talk about what I talk about. And what I do is very expanding for all of us. And so I'm thrilled to be here to talk about my topic, which is I am an elder lawyer, which means I deal with elder law issues, Medicaid, Medicare, people in nursing homes, social security, et cetera, et cetera.

Cathy Sikorski: But I have done that for well over 30 years, and I have found that. Actually, elder law isn't even, I was a regular lawyer for one of a better word, elder law is kind of new, and it's grown with these issues of nursing homes and Medicaid and the cost of care because we're getting older. We're, baby boomers, there's more of us.

Cathy Sikorski: And so it's, really kind of a newer field. So maybe 20 years I've been doing it. but what I found being a caregiver for eight different family members and friends during this period of time, not as my job, but as a person with a big family who needs help and is a the punitive expert in the family, is that, women especially tend to put aside their financial wellbeing in order to what they think is to create, Other wellbeing within the family, and that isn't always the wisest choice, and that isn't always even the necessary choice.

Cathy Sikorski: They don't even know that there's options out there for them. So I feel like I often have this twofold conversation like number one. is it gonna cost you money to be a caregiver? and number two is there a way to get paid for doing what you are doing as a caregiver without putting your financial future and wellbeing into jeopardy?

Cathy Sikorski: Because it's very likely that the person that you are taking care of, which might be a woman, your mom, your mother-in-law, et cetera, has put herself in financial jeopardy. That's why your caregiving for her. Mm-hmm. So there's a lot of, layers to this onion that we could, unpeel that could go on for, as you can imagine, days, hours, weeks.

Cathy Sikorski: but the money part is really important, and that's what I actually love about your work, Erin, is quite frankly, it's the money part. Right. We women have lots of value. We have lots of expertise. We have lots of things that we bring to the table, but for some reason we forget about the money piece.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. we do, we value our ourselves in so many ways. Yeah. So my, experience, my expertise is in the legal part of this and the financial part of it because there's a huge piece to issues in caregiving, and so I educate. People and now I'm moving into corporations and work and, financial advisors, et cetera, about the legal and financial need for preparation for everyone properly so that no one gets left behind.

Cathy Sikorski: Yeah, that's great.

Erin Austin: So, usually we were talking before we started recording about the, diversity of guests that I've had on the podcast. And I will say that typically I usually know just enough to be dangerous about the topics that they're going to cover. And on this one, I feel fairly out of my death even though it is, some legal issues.

Erin Austin: not because I'm unfamiliar with it, but because I've failed so spectacularly in being, a caregiver myself. until very recently I was, one of the sandwich generation with a. Mother in her late eighties and I have a teenager and running a business and running a home as a single woman.

Erin Austin: And so there are all the things happening. And so, you talk about, work life balance and which I've found to be, maybe I don't know what it means. So maybe we'll talk there. Cause I feel like

Cathy Sikorski: I just haven't 

Erin Austin: quite cracked that nut. So, tell me how that, how you look at

Cathy Sikorski: that.

Cathy Sikorski: It's impossible. Good. It's not just me, that's how I look at it. however, we can get better at it. Mm-hmm. If we pay attention to, things that are a, resources that are available to us to help us do better for ourselves and our loved ones. Okay. So, there's lots of. People doing this caregiving thing, there's people like us who work for ourselves, right?

Cathy Sikorski: And so when we step out of the workforce, we're stepping out of our own work and our own, responsibilities and maybe not taking on as many clients and et cetera, et cetera. But there is the whole, this 53 million of unpaid family caregivers are not unpaid people. They're workers. Mm-hmm. They're working at jobs where they actually go to work.

Cathy Sikorski: And when I say go to work, I just mean, maybe they're working from home, but they have time where they're putting in at work. Mm-hmm. And. so to educate our audience about very simplistically, let's start with the basics. You need to be a caregiver. You need legal things in place. You need to have powers of attorney.

Cathy Sikorski: You need to have financial powers of attorney and healthcare powers of attorney. These are the 32nd definition. It is a document that you sign that gives the authority to someone else to act as if they are you in. Every possible capacity, either with their finances or their healthcare super powerful document, you are giving someone a great amount of authority.

Cathy Sikorski: But if they are incapacitated, whether it be temporarily or permanently, they need someone to take care of their affairs for them. And that's what everybody needs. And everyone 18 years of age or older in this country should have one because anybody can get hit by a bus tomorrow. Mm-hmm. And you may not be able to handle your affairs, whatever that means, right?

Cathy Sikorski: They get more complex as a document, as you get more assets, as you get more responsibilities or whatever. And so I'm just saying that. The concept of a power of attorney is very, very often missed until it's very late in the game. Oh my god. Mom is really sick. she's in the nursing home. She's in the hospital.

Cathy Sikorski: I need, nobody will let me do anything. I can't move her money around. I can't pay her bills cuz I don't have power of attorney. Mm-hmm. Right. So if you know that somebody you love, you're gonna have to care for, or you're helping them, make sure you have those documents, you gotta have 'em. and everybody talks about a will.

Cathy Sikorski: They're great. I love wills. Yeah, they're great. But actually in my world, wills are like the least important thing. Mm-hmm. Because, Powers of attorney are for live people who are sick, and wills are for dead people. It's that simple, right? Mm-hmm. And then in between, that little niche is something that we talk about living will and advanced directives, which is if someone is in a permanent vegetative state, what do they want me to do?

Cathy Sikorski: And in the vernacular it's, do you want me to pull the plug or not pull the plug? Really? That's what it is. Mm-hmm. So you gotta have this conversation with your loved one and you gotta have a piece of paper that says so and not honestly not. Cause that piece of paper is so great in a hospital setting.

Cathy Sikorski: It's because I am one of seven children. If my mom, 90 year old mom, who is a hoot and a half right now, and go on TikTok and look me up, you'll see the two of us. We have a lot of fun together, but if she goes to the hospital, all these kids are coming in with all their spouses and all their grandchildren, and some of their great-grandchildren will have 56 people in a room trying to decide what do we do with mom?

Cathy Sikorski: She's in a permanent vegetative state, right? Mm-hmm. I don't want that. I got a piece of paper that mom signed that says, this is what we're gonna do. Mm-hmm. And I say, I might not even do this, but this is what mom said and so this is what we're gonna do. It takes the decider off the hook. So that's your basic stuff, right?

Cathy Sikorski: That does not address at all the work-life balance issue and the difficulty of the cost of care. Obviously not just financially, but physically, emotionally. whatever. Mm-hmm. for people like you and I who have their own business, we don't have someone that's gonna give us paid time off or family and medical leave or, stuff like that.

Cathy Sikorski: Right. It doesn't mean there's not resources out there for us, but it does mean that it's a little bit harder for us. but here's two things right off the top of my head. Get paid. If your mom has assets and she would pay a complete stranger to come in and take care of her, she can pay you the same $25 an hour to pay.

Cathy Sikorski: You get a contract signed, preferably with a lawyer's, approval. So it looks like you're not self-dealing and get paid. It might not be. You might earn $250 an hour, so it's not gonna make up for that, but it keeps you in the Social Security and 10 99 yourself, by the way. It keeps you in the Social Security loop.

Cathy Sikorski: It keeps you in the Social Security disability loop. You are still getting paid right? Wow. Okay. So would you have put this in

Erin Austin: place the same time that you're putting together the other,

Cathy Sikorski: because otherwise, like, let's say they're
Erin Austin: already in capacity. Sure. They can't enter this agreement.

Cathy Sikorski: Why not?

Cathy Sikorski: Of course. Why not? you don't have to take the money right away. Mm-hmm. But honestly, the other thing I say is if you really don't need the money, take it anyway. Because two things. Number one, put it in your ira. Mm-hmm. You're losing time to create wealth for you in your future. In case this happens to you.

Cathy Sikorski: Right? So if you really don't need 20, put it in your ira. Mm-hmm. Right? And secondly, it is a way for you to put everyone on notice. And I am working here. Mm-hmm. somebody said something to me very interesting yesterday. She said, me and my sister, my mom got very sick very quickly. They were in their thirties.

Cathy Sikorski: they weren't prepared. Their dad was living, but they came in to do the hands-on, and she said the saddest part for me was we spent so much time being caregivers, we didn't spend time with my mom as daughters while she was dying. Mm. Mm-hmm. Oh God, this is really, it hurt, it breaks my heart, right?

Cathy Sikorski: That they couldn't be. In the relationship of mom and daughter, because they had to call the doctor, they had to make sure the hospice was coming. They had to, give her a a sponge bath if somebody had put other money in place. That's the second thing. Long-term care insurance. Mm-hmm. If you can afford that.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. And if you're young, you can really afford it. If you put that in place, it lets your family be your family. Mm-hmm. Right. Yes, I agree. And honestly, if they have to work for you, they can get paid out of that kind of a product too. Right. And then there's a whole raft of organizations that have come about in the last few years because Medicaid has allowed them to pay family members.

Cathy Sikorski: Okay. Never spouses. Mm-hmm. But other family members. Mm-hmm. And you may very well, if your person is not a person of assets or means they may qualify for a Medicaid benefit and you can literally work for them, and you get paid. Wow. So what if you have a niece who is in college mm-hmm. And can do this part-time paid.

Cathy Sikorski: We have to get ourselves out of the mindset that this is. A gift that we give to our loved ones, that we make the supreme sacrifice of giving up every other asset or financial, thing that we have in order to take care of mom. Mm-hmm. Because I'm not saying you don't need to take care of mom.

Cathy Sikorski: That's wonderful if you can, but money isn't the problem here, isn't the evil one here? Mm-hmm. There's lots of ways to transfer the money so that, as I've said three times now, you aren't mom 30 years from now with no money. Right. Especially if there's no one to take care of you. Right.

Erin Austin: That is scary. Do you say a couple things that I wanna just back up.

Erin Austin: Okay. And kinda just relate my personal experience, frankly. one was about the advanced directors of medical directives and if you're loved, one is, in a vegetative state or something. One of the things that's happened with Covid and that I have with my mother is that, They are in the hospital and, and they are awake, aware you can talk to them, but you're can't be alone with them.

Erin Austin: At least they couldn't at the time. I know things have changed, and you're not allowed to discuss their care. Like her doctors would not allow me to ask her, what do you want me to do? And so there can be circumstances where you have someone who. where there's, for me there was a circumstance of what do I do while she's deteriorating, but still here?

Cathy Sikorski: So, and yeah. Yeah. And,

Erin Austin: not wanting to miss that window of being able to be with her.

Cathy Sikorski: Well, of course the first side is, it'd be great if we have these conversations beforehand. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. So if you can, if you're hearing this Mm. And you can. It's hard, but you gotta go sit down. Honestly, 12 conversations, my book, that tells you how to have some of these conversations.

Cathy Sikorski: Right. you gotta have the conversations. And if you can, and you're fortunate enough to be able to do that now, do that. but you're, telling us a different story. You're saying here we are in the crisis. I can't talk to her about this. The doctors won't let me, which is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

Cathy Sikorski: I don't even understand what that means. But they

Erin Austin: said, well, but I could not ask her for her opinion. like you have to make the decision. You can't do that. It wouldn't, they didn't consider her to be, able to, contribute even though you could talk to her and ask her how she, you know.

Erin Austin: Yeah.

Cathy Sikorski: okay. Well,

Cathy Sikorski: Wait till they leave the room. Well, they wouldn't let me in the room. Practical, practical solutions are sometimes better than any anyone's. but I, I guess that's where family history comes into play, right? I, I mean, it's your mom and I hope that you know your mom well enough to know you're gonna have to make a decision.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Based on what you know about her in terms of history. Mm-hmm. I will tell you that being this caregiver for eight different family members and friends, yes, I've had to make some tough decisions and yes, I still live with some regrets. Not even to tell you, oh, I made the wrong decision, but did I make the right decision?

Cathy Sikorski: It's, it's more of a question about that, right? Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm. I honestly think that's a case for therapy. It was, right? I, I mean, to be honest with you, that that's where I would have to resolve that. Mm-hmm. Because, Even if you've had all the conversations, you've got all the paperwork, you did all the right things, crisis is crisis.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. And you're gonna have to make decisions and you're going to second guess yourself later, if not in the moment. Right. Mm-hmm. and that's part of it. And, and I will tell you the beauty of so much attention being given to caregiving na caregiving now, and it's taken a long time. Do you know Erin? I looked up yesterday cuz I was quoting her.

Cathy Sikorski: Rosalyn Carter started the Institute for Caregivers in 1987. Wow. 35 years, this woman, and she's still alive, as you may know. Yeah. Almost hundred years is still fighting for the rights of caregivers and caregiving families. but, but the, the, the thing, because there's so much now, so many organizations, so much, one of the things that they, you know, there's so much support about, okay, you're gonna feel bad, you're gonna have regrets, you're gonna have guilt, you're gonna have, you know, all of those things.

Cathy Sikorski: I would say, so the answer is, since we're talking about it, prepare as much as you can, do the best you can. Mm-hmm. It's kind of like raising children, isn't it? And. Talk to a therapist, it's over.

Erin Austin: That is fair. That is fair. Now the other piece of that was after my mother passed, and I am the executor of her will and.

Erin Austin: I felt, and I kind of feel this way, I'm thinking about that this with my kid, is that, you know, being the executor kind of has interfered with my grief process and,

Cathy Sikorski: which is exactly what these daughters were saying to me yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Erin Austin: And, and, but I, you know, what are the options for, people don't think of anyone else being able to do this for them.

Erin Austin: What are, what are the options if you're not, you know, a rich person?

Cathy Sikorski: You know the thing, often the person making the will thinks this is some kind of a gift or an honor that they're giving to, to let someone be their executor. Yeah. It is a dubious honor at best. Yes. The business of death is horrible.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. The business of death, the only good redeeming quality, in my opinion about the business of death is quite frankly, keeps you so busy that it. Tamps down your grief until you have a chance to sit in it. Mm-hmm. In a, in a whole way. Right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So, so that may have some value. Mm-hmm. Because you gotta do some things.

Cathy Sikorski: Right. I mean, nobody, nobody who knows the job ever wants the job. Mm-hmm. but I would say, That if you are in a position and you are, you know, working with a family member and they have decided you're gonna be this person and you know, you don't want this cuz you're the caregiver, encourage them to choose someone else.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Someone who the business part won't be daunting to them. Mm-hmm. It won't be emotional to them. you know, now in your case, maybe you didn't have anyone, if you're an only child or if your child, if your adult child is an adult enough yet mm-hmm. They can't do it. Right. That kind of a thing. I will tell you, you're probably not gonna like this answer, but I don't like sharing that job.

Cathy Sikorski: Having two people have the job, sounds like, you know, divide and conquer, but more, that's more of a problem than anything. Mm-hmm. And you, having done it, you would probably understand having to sign papers, having to be available to, you know, go through documents, whatever. If you need someone else and they live in another state, or you know, they have a busy life just like you, that's gonna extend this torture longer than it needs to be done.

Cathy Sikorski: So, right. I don't like that. And the third thing I wanna say about this, cuz it's really important, cause old people love to make their oldest child the executor or their son. Now they live in Virginia, youngest only daughter. They live in Virginia like you do, let's say. And their son lives in Seattle and they're gonna pick their son who's in Seattle.

Cathy Sikorski: And I'm like, what are you doing? Mm-hmm. I really, really don't recommend this. It's not a good idea. You've gotta pick someone who's here, where the, where the estate is, where the physical need to do the paperwork is. And I know we do a lot of things online now, but trust me, it, it's better to be where your stuff is.

Cathy Sikorski: Yeah, absolutely. So, absolutely. So, yeah, and if it's okay with you, I'd like to veer a little left. Sure. Which is just talk about work and caregiving where people who work in corporate America mm-hmm. You have so many things available to you that you don't even know about. For, for instance, you probably have legal benefits, but you haven't thought about it in terms of a power of attorney or powers of attorney for your parents.

Cathy Sikorski: You think about it if you have a D U I or if you have, you know, an accident, you, you need to get a lawyer. That's a really, this is the, as I told you, the critical piece. If you have legal benefits, use them for this part, for the caregiving part, you can use it for a family member. Well, this, okay, maybe not, but I haven't met a lawyer yet who said is gonna say, no, no, no.

Cathy Sikorski: I don't wanna do any work for anybody else in your family. Okay. Oh yeah. You say, I'm gonna come in, I'm gonna bring my parents in and. Would you mind giving us the same wonderful, you know, 20% off or whatever that you're giving me. Mm-hmm. And then I'm gonna tell my brother and sister Yeah. It's gonna, it's probably not for your family members, but lawyers don't turn business away.

Cathy Sikorski: We're not in the business of doing that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We want clients. Boy, do we want families? That's even better. Right? So use your legal benefits. Try yes. Use it for your parents in whatever fashion you can check out. Long, long, Long-term care insurance. Do you have that at work? Mm-hmm. Check it out.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Just at least look at it. When my husband had it many years ago, you could buy it for your parents. How cool is that? Hmm. And it's coming back in a big way as a corporate benefit. Yes. And if you're in the C-suite, you can deduct that, premium as a, as a deductible either I, I don't know if it's a health cost or business cost, but it, it's a deductible cost.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. What is

Erin Austin: the, do you know what, what may be available for

Cathy Sikorski: people who are self-employed or have so, so that's one right there. Long-term care insurance and then the deduction of the premium. Absolutely. That's a perfect example of that. So the businessing P and then Yes, exactly. Exactly. Mm-hmm. and,and also obviously in a work where you have paid time off and you have F M L A and you know, all of those things, you can use them appropriately for caregiving and caregiving for the people.

Cathy Sikorski: It used to be, would, could only be your spouse, and now they've expanded it to your parents and I think they've even expanded it more to other family members. Mm-hmm. So check that out at work. and then you have. You have EAPs with a mental health. Mental health is a big deal right now. It's everywhere.

Cathy Sikorski: We're all gonna pay for mental health. Well, if nothing's gonna give you more mental health stress than caregiving, I don't know what it is, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Use that. Mm-hmm. Take advantage of it because just because you don't feel like you're losing your mind, but you know you're under extra stress mm-hmm.

Cathy Sikorski: Doesn't mean you shouldn't be using a mental health benefit. Mm-hmm. So, Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of it

Erin Austin: is kind of delayed kind of reaction. It is. It is in it. You're just in it, you know, it's almost like survival and,

Cathy Sikorski: and people are just very unschooled about what they have at work that would. Would be helpful in this kind of a situation.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Erin Austin: And if you, have your own, you know, I, I am a solopreneur and I have, health insurance and through it I do have mental health benefits.
Cathy Sikorski: And so preneurs

Erin Austin: hopefully have that element within their insurance as well. So, yeah. So

Cathy Sikorski: tell me like,

Erin Austin: You know, all this costs money. Are there strategies for, you know, how people who are, you know, this audience is primarily founders of service-based businesses.

Erin Austin: How they can, be, I mean, strategies for them to help access and pay for, these types of services.

Cathy Sikorski: So, yes. It's almost always gonna depend on whether you're, the person you're caring for has means or doesn't have means, all right? Mm-hmm. So if they have means they're gonna have to use their own money, but again, let 'em pay you it.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Even if you're bringing in caregivers at $25 an hour, you should still get paid for your work. Mm-hmm. Your, your time should be paid time. Mm-hmm. Get paid. Mm-hmm. 10 99. so, so if you're, if you're, let's say your parents are, are people of assets, then if their assets are gonna be used to pay for their care, that's typical.

Cathy Sikorski: And also ask and find out if they have long-term care policies. I didn't find out I was taking, my brother had ms. The worst kind, very, very incapacitated for a long time. 3, 4, 5 years into it. I found out he had a long-term care policy. Oh my goodness. Oh, we got it finally. You know, we got all the benefits.

Cathy Sikorski: It was wonderful. But it's like, where was that? Mm-hmm. So look through your loved one's papers, cuz often they don't even know what they have, right? Mm-hmm. So, and that's a place where money lies. and sometimes they have life insurance that has a long-term care rider. That's a place where money lies.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Often they have bought that and they forgot about it, or they didn't, they don't know how to, they don't know how to start it. They don't know how to implement it, right? Mm-hmm. Annuities often have this thing, they're called hybrid policies. Now, a lot of people are buying these hybrid policies that are long-term care policy riders attached to a life insurance benefit, so pay attention to that.

Cathy Sikorski: If you're a solopreneur and you're taking care of a loved one, or if you wanna do it for yourself, right? Mm-hmm. There's lots of ways to protect. Yourself. Mm-hmm. for a long-term care event. then there's these agencies. If, if you're a person without assets, Medicaid actually has ways for you to get paid.

Cathy Sikorski: Also, your state will have things called a waiver program. That's just. That's what it's called. I don't know why, but that's what it's called. Mm-hmm. and if your loved one is staying home, they are entitled to benefits to allow someone to help care for them. And that's a way for you to also get paid without going through an agency, just a person who's caring for them and they qualify for Medicaid that you almost always have to do either through an elder lawyer, which would be great, or the area of.

Cathy Sikorski: Agency, on aging. Mm-hmm. Everyone has one somewhere, and it's called something families, sometimes it's called, it's called something like that. But there, every state has 'em, every county has them. Everybody's got 'em. And that's where you would get guidance on where the money lies. So, so there's money.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Now how you

Erin Austin: mentioned eight. You even caregiver to

Cathy Sikorski: eight people is true story simultaneously sometimes. How did you, how did you do this? Sometimes it was started out with my grandmother who was 92 and came to live with me and my two-year-old at the same time. So talk about a sandwich, right?

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And those two just loved ganging up on me. They thought it was hilarious to be living this life of. Of chaos. Of chaos. and then I had several, great aunt, my mother-in-law, you know, my, my brother-in-law that I told you about Ms. M while I was the primary caregiver for my brother-in-law who had ms.

Cathy Sikorski: My very best friend fell down a flight of stairs and had a traumatic brain injury and her husband of 34 years. Left. Her and her. She only had friends, her children lived on the other side of the country, and so I became her primary caregiver. And then her, our other friends also stepped up, so it was simultaneous.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. And all the while being a solopreneur, right? Mm-hmm. So, I'm not gonna lie, my business slowed down very dramatically. Mm-hmm. but I'm also not gonna lie and say that that wasn't. the key and the impetus to create what I do now. Mm-hmm. So, So there's the gift, right? I see what's happening and yeah.

Cathy Sikorski: I, it was hard. Yeah, it was hard. I spent a lot of time taking care of my kids and my family members and my friend, because I could, and I, I will tell you, I have an amazing, awesome husband mm-hmm. Who was more than willing to let me be that person. Mm-hmm. Right? That's probably the biggest key. Yeah. And you

Erin Austin: said, Work-life balance does not exist.

Erin Austin: What's the closest thing that comes to it? Like what? How

Cathy Sikorski: do we protect ourselves? If you wait long enough, it comes around.

Cathy Sikorski: The closest thing that comes to it is recognizing that you have to put yourself first sometimes. Mm-hmm. And not until, not when you're dead, and not when you're exhausted, and not when you're yelling at everyone because you've just burnt out. Mm-hmm. That you have to figure out what that is. So my, my calendar has, you know, a workout in it four days a week.

Cathy Sikorski: Right. And that is sacred time. Nobody gets that hour except my trainer, who I hate.

Cathy Sikorski: It, it, it's like that, right? Mm-hmm. and if it's, if it's only a half hour, because you have, you know, there was a time when I had a 15 year old and a 12 year old, and I was taking them to practice, and my husband was a traveling salesman, so, right. Mm-hmm. Larry, my brother-in-law is fi, is five miles from me in an independent living, but you know, his wheelchair broke down.

Cathy Sikorski: He can't get anywhere. Mm-hmm. I have to find, so yes. Mm-hmm. If it's a half hour, I'm gonna read this book and nobody's gonna talk to me. You know, every night from nine to nine 30, go away, whatever it is. and then it's a bigger thing, like those mental health things, like you've got to not be, A martyr.

Erin Austin: Mm-hmm. Yeah. The thing where they tell you to put your mask on before you, you know, in the, in the, if the oxygen goes out in the, in the

Cathy Sikorski: plane. But my mom has given me such great martyr lessons. It's really hard to, to let, let that influence go. And if she heard me, she'd be like, okay. She couldn't hear me.

Cathy Sikorski: She's right down the street.

Erin Austin: Well, she gave you those great jeans, you know, so you,

Cathy Sikorski: yeah. Right.

Cathy Sikorski: So, so that's how you get more balance mm-hmm. Is by, by shoving it in that calendar. Mm-hmm. And then, I mean, like everything, right, Erin, life just sort of balances out. Mm-hmm. But I just don't want you to be destitute at the end of it. Mm-hmm. That's what I don't want. Mm-hmm. Right. What, what if it's, let's say you're

Erin Austin: in your fifties and you've, it's too you, you know, you've been letting all these things.

Cathy Sikorski: Then what? So, you mean like you don't have long-term care insurance and you don't have, so, so look it up. I mean, at least look, pretending that you can't have it. Oh God. Is this like the biggest thing that you do right in, in your work, outside of what we're talking about, but pretending that you can't have it because you don't do any homework about what that actually means?

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Is the biggest disservice you can do to yourself? Just look it up. Mm-hmm. See what it, see what's out there. See what you have. Talk to a professional who says, okay. I see you have four life insurance policies here. Why? Maybe we can consolidate them and make sure there's a long-term care rider to that.

Cathy Sikorski: So now you're protected and you know, do this one time thing and get your documents in order, okay? Mm-hmm. You're done. Great job. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mommy's proud. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I will

Erin Austin: say I'm one of the people who's, you know, done so many things online without kind of that intermediary professional, like a broker, you know, for insurance or even, you know, for travel.

Erin Austin: We kind of are used to doing things on our own, but there are still. Insurance brokers in the world is that

Cathy Sikorski: we are and when, and I believe these are complex, this isn't just life insurance. Mm-hmm. This is a complex situation and I really believe, just like lawyers, you can, I'm gonna tell you right up front, you can go online and type in power of attorney.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. And something will come up. I'm not gonna ever tell you to do that. You can do it for your, for your 18 year old. Mm-hmm. Because you'll get a standard document and they don't own anything, so who cares, right? Mm-hmm. But if you have an ira, if you have somebody you need, you know, that you, you're worrying about who to be in charge of.

Cathy Sikorski: I think that's a

Cathy Sikorski: conversation with a professional. What kind of powers do I really want them to have? What kind of authority do I really want this person to have? You know, how much am I gonna let them into my stuff or not into my stuff or, you know, whatever. I don't recommend that you do that online.

Cathy Sikorski: However, if it is absolutely impossible for you to, and all lawyers aren't ridiculously out, outrageously expensive, don't think that either. Cause it's not a true story, also not a true story. You might end up costing yourself more money by doing the wrong thing. Mm-hmm. Than by spending some money up front and doing the right thing.

Cathy Sikorski: We bring

Erin Austin: up another point like say you are not married and you need to find. Someone to be the Your person. Yeah. To your person. Like, what, what should we be looking for in,

Cathy Sikorski: okay. So it has to be a person that you trust, that you really, truly trust. Mm-hmm. That is going to ha, because in this scenario you can't, you're incapacitated and it could be temporary.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. But you're incapacitated. Now I will say that anybody who takes on the job as a power of attorney is by law a fiduciary. Right. So by law they are going to be looked at if they steal from you or whatever, but you don't want that. You don't wanna deal with that. So you want someone who, who you can trust.

Cathy Sikorski: You want someone who's. Probably financially savvy on the financial side, and that might not be the same person. Maybe you want two people, someone who's much more savvy or compassionate on the healthcare side. You know, don't pull the plug. I'm having an appendectomy.

Erin Austin: Just cause I don't think my brother listens to this, that Yeah. You know, he's financial power attorney, but somebody else, the, the medical power attorney. Yes,

Cathy Sikorski: yes, yes. And, and I, and I, I agree for people and Florida, I'm in Pennsylvania, so I, I am only licensed to practice law here. But I will tell you that Florida has, apparently I got a have friends in Florida, there's some weird thing in there, laws that says if your executor has to be a blood relative, Hmm.

Cathy Sikorski: I know. And I didn't believe my friend when she told me that, I'm like, that can't be true, but mm-hmm. It's true. Hmm. So what if you don't have any blood relatives? Right. Exactly. Or what if you don't like them?

Erin Austin: Right. Right. You haven't talked to them. Yeah. In 30 years. Yeah.

Cathy Sikorski: So, so a person. That you trust in a person that has knowledge and capability.

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Even if it's just for a temporary time, is the person you and you should talk to them first and say, I'm going to ask you if something happens to be this person. Mm-hmm. Will you do that for me? Yeah. Yeah. You definitely don't want it to be a surprise. Oh no. Not a good idea. Because it can

Erin Austin: be a fair amount of work.
Cathy Sikorski:Absolutely, yes. So

Erin Austin: this is the Hourly Exit podcast, and you know, we talk about building a scalable and saleable business. And so in the context of that, you know,

Cathy Sikorski: for our
Erin Austin: solopreneurs or entrepreneurs, where does this fit into making sure they're building a solid, sustainable
Cathy Sikorski: business? So here's the thing, if, if you are working on a solid, sustainable business right now, What do you have in place in case something happens to you?

Cathy Sikorski: Mm-hmm. Even if it's temporary. What? What happens if you have to step out for three months or six months because you have, you got hit by a car, right? Mm-hmm. What do you have in place? That's what Kathy is trying to get you to do. Mm-hmm. Put something in place to give you the peace of mind so that what Erin has done, which has helped you build this business that will sustain itself while you're healing.

Cathy Sikorski: Right. That's gonna keep going and you're gonna be over here and all your documents and everything is in place, and you don't have to worry about crisis planning. Mm-hmm. So, So these two professionals sitting at this table now talking to you have just given you peace of mind. Yeah. Yeah.

Erin Austin: So few people think about that.

Erin Austin: You know, nobody thinks they're gonna to get hit by a bus or get long covid or whatever it is. Right,

Cathy Sikorski: right, right, right. Function. Yeah. It's all sort. Right. Yeah. I mean, and, and it, it could be as, I don't wanna say simple as long covid. It could, because that's not simple, but it could be as, as. Like, nobody sees it but you.

Cathy Sikorski: I'm exhausted. It's like mono, right? Mm-hmm. I can do two hours of work today and then I am done. I, I am done. I cannot do one more minute. Right? And I need someone to do my banking. I need someone to go get my car serviced. I need someone, somebody who has authority to do that. Just go do that. Yeah. Peace of mind.

Cathy Sikorski: Yeah.

Erin Austin: So smart. So, I. Typically don't have lawyers on, but I'll ask, are you building your business with an eye towards selling it

Cathy Sikorski: someday? Well, I, I'm not building my legal business. I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you. I'm, I'm actually more your client than I am a lawyer because you can see I got three books behind me.

Cathy Sikorski: I've written three books, and my. Really, work life is speaking to groups, speaking to ideally large corporations who will bring in their employees to talk about these kinds of issues, but also about what the employer can do for them when this caregiving thing affects them as a worker. Mm-hmm. Right.

Cathy Sikorski: So I'm a speaker. I, I'm a speaker and a writer more than I am a lawyer. Mm-hmm. You know, I, but family and friends, you know, there's eight different family members and friends. Well, there's lots more them around

Erin Austin: really. Cottage industry, you have basically family members. Great. Therefore, well that's wonderful.

Erin Austin: Well, thank you for sharing that. So as we wrap up three final things. One, you know, the, the, the, goal of my podcast and my consulting business is to help create a more, equitable economy, one that works for more of us. And so I'd love for people to share a personal organization who's doing work in that space that they'd like the audience to find out more about.

Cathy Sikorski: My, my favorite, I'm on the board of something called Nancy's house. And Nancy's house breaks the isolation of caregiving. Mm-hmm. And what we do is, although we have lots of small programs that you can join in through Facebook, the Facebook group, just look up Nancy's house and you can come in for group counseling twice a month.

Cathy Sikorski: That's free. you can, we have, we have. Our main mission is to break this isolation by having retreats that are usually three days long, three days, two nights in a five star. Bed and breakfast where we provide counseling, yoga, massages, and love it. There's only 10 people. Mm-hmm. So you actually build a, a community right there of people who understand what you're going through.

Cathy Sikorski: Yeah. Mm-hmm. it is a wonderful, wonderful organization. Yeah. Oh, that's

Erin Austin: fantastic. Thank you for that. And so is there something exciting happening in your business or something new that you'd like to tell us

Cathy Sikorski: about or an offer for the audience? You like to share? Well, I always offer this to my, to any audience.

Cathy Sikorski: You can contact me. We're, I'm sure we're gonna give you it in the notes. Yes, everything. Share notes, absolutely. Kathy dot sikorski gmail.com and I will talk to you for half hour about anything you wanna talk about. We can talk about my earrings, we can talk about caregiving, we can talk about. But I will talk to you hopefully about these important issues.

Cathy Sikorski: If you have any questions, I'm, as I said, I'm only licensed in Pennsylvania, but I can give you some general guidance and if any real personal questions about caregiving or whatever, yes, you get, you get 30 minutes of my time. Wonderful. That

Erin Austin: is so generous. Thank you. And so finally, where can people find you in addition to your website, which you just, shared?

Erin Austin: Are there other places you hang out online that we can

Cathy Sikorski: find? Oh gosh, yeah. Just Google me, honestly. I'm like the first four pages under my name. If you can type Cathy Sikorski, you will see everything that I am doing. I'm on LinkedIn. Feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn. I love connecting with people in.

Cathy Sikorski: All kinds of work on LinkedIn because caregiving touches everyone. So connect with me on LinkedIn. I'm on Amazon for my books. so just type in my name again and, you will see lots of things that I'm doing in terms of writing articles for people and on podcasts and, yeah. Wonderful. I'm everywhere.

Cathy Sikorski: Thank you so much. You've

Erin Austin: been incredibly generous with your time and your wisdom. Much appreciated.

Cathy Sikorski: Erin, thank you so much for having me. I think this is such an important conversation and I'm so honored that you recognize that as well, so I really truly appreciate it. Thank you.